Why do I do this to myself-part 1000

Things got so unsettled at my old job. Having been looking around for different jobs there came a week where I had two interviews, both for great and fun jobs that really looked possible. I hit it off with the recruiters, passed all the tests with great scores, conducted myself with a fair amount of calm and interest and came off as knowing my stuff. Meanwhile at work, things were going from bad to worse.
I decided to take the plunge and leave. That would allow me the two to three days to interview further at what looked like two sure things.
I think you can guess the rest.
Shit.



But I wouldn't change a thing. Well, maybe I would have got one of the jobs. Yeah, that part.
However, the week I was waiting for the news was scary, nerve wracking and wonderful. I had time to make my son a costume for a school performance, was able to take him to school and pick him up, take him to Tae Kwon Do and his baseball games. I had time to make dinners, clean and pretty much be a home mom for a while. And David was super supportive, making me aware of how cool he really is. And our budget won't break much.
I do need the work so we can continue with lessons, fun stuff and savings. So I won't be a stay at home mom. I'm not mentally built for it..I like to work. I also love my home and family. This week really put that into perspective.

Portia in San Franciso

She calls it Memories of the the Badass days.

What we look like now

This is us after camping at Mount Rainer. We camped next to the Cowlitz river and had lots of fun. Sleeping sucked though. The mattress deflated and it was the usual all night find-the-freaking-stone I'm sleeping on routine. But worth the bother. This year we'll take a portable shower thingy that is basically a water bottle with a hose that warms up the water during the day. Nothing electric. Need to wax the seams of the tent too. It tends to leak there.
You can tell how sophisticated I am by my clothing. Yes, this is how I dress normally. So invitations to formal occasions are not all over my calendar.

A Year Later

Got a job in May and was ready to quit by April. But...I'm still working there and wonder how long this will last. It's not the perfect job; pay's too low, environment full of complaining and negativity, but it's a job and there's money coming in and, considering the times, I should be grateful. So there you go. Grateful to have a job. I'd give someone else's right arm to find the job I am by nature suited for, but I don't have enough self awareness obviously to figure that one out. I don't think you can get paid for reading Jane Austen, watching sitcoms or eating chocolate. After looking over this paragraph it's obvious my future is not in editing.

What? Me too?

So I got laid off and quickly got another job that turned out terrible. I was not suited for it, it tore at my self confidence and make me jumpy and unhappy. It was not the fault of the owner or my workmates, they were all great. But it was not the job I applied for and nothing in the world, even eventual mastery of the job, would make it something I wanted to do, enjoyed doing or, as most of us get who work, made some peace with for the money.
So now I'm looking again and the upbeat attitude that came from getting work so quickly last time is melting away. I failed one test from an employer by not being quick enough, I have emails out to 10 employers and no responses yet. It's been two days and I feel like I've deluded myself that work is easy to come by. Let's see what Friday looks like.

Rest in Peace Steve

Odd things happen when you read blogs obsessively. You feel you know someone purely by their writing and also suffer a certain disconnect when something real, and sad,happens to them. You realize they are not family, nor a friend, or anyone with whom you have actually communicated. However, blogs add a dimension the the human experience "knowing" that is, while unfamiliar and requires thinking about, is quite real.
When Steve grew sick I was checking his blog first every day. His was the voice I most responded to. I commented rarely, not being the type to post much or feel the need to fight it out with other commentors or join the the chorus of "oh yes, indeed." And now that he is gone there is a genuine sense of loss that can really only be understood by others who hang out on the blogs and other lurkers. To mention my sense of loss to my family seems odd. I couldn't say why yet. But it IS there.
I'll miss Steve.

Time to renovate

We've been at our new home in Washington state for about a year now (November 7th I think is the year anniversary) and we are ready to renovate the kitchen.
Now the kitchen was the only sticking point when deciding between this house and the gorgeous redone beauty with the sucken living room and den, hardwood floors and interesting ceilings and overall open design. I loved that place, and it had gas.
This house is woodsy, nice interiors and wood trim, across from a lake and two storied. Three bathrooms and lots of space. But the kitchen is small and incovenient. It is designed in a U shape with the refrigerator opening at upper left of the U and blocking walking space completely whenever it's opened.

WHO DESIGNED THIS ROOM?

So we've got a woman from a kitchen redesigned center coming today which means I have to straighten up the place and clean the bathrooms and you know, make it look like we couldn't possibly need her help we are so efficient. We are liars.

Really, the kitchen is older (1992 I'll bet) and needs freshening. The positives are lots of cupboard space (although higher up, you shorties out there will know how wonderful that is) had a beautiful mini greenhouse jutting out behind the sink with pretty wood and lead framed stained glass, and I like the new faucet we put in. Otherwise it's small with funky yellowy colors, old appliances ( the fridge leaks water out of the bottom at night) and is difficult when two people are trying to manuever in it. Also the floor is a busy wood parquet that is difficult to maintain and pretty ugly.

So my wish list is:
-more flow, people can walk through it and in it without looking like they are jousting
-nice counters and floors (I want to match the artisan feel of our mission style furniture but David hates artsy so this will have to be done on the sly)
-change out the cupboards by refacing with cherry instead of oak and getting glass doors on them to match the greenhouse (really, is there anything in the world that says "Hi, I used to live in the 70's " as oak does?)
-remove a couple of cupboards so we can see from the office to the kitchen, it's got a counter that would be nice with barstools and some drop lighting, why waste the space ?
-new appliances that keep their fluids to themselves (see above)
-gas. hmmmmmmmm, maybe we will get it if the budget holds out. We hear there is a pipeline now on our street so it's doable.
-make it a fun room for more than one. Heck, join it with the dining room since we don't entertain royalty.

You ask and you shall receive

Here's a picture of Ethan although somewhat out of date. I will update when I download the latest camera load.

This is the place.....

To talk to us and send any pictures etc... These will be seen by anyone viewing the blog so make sure there are no boogers in your nose. I mean it....really.....pictures can be sent to my email address which you should know. If you don't then you just don't care enough.